Rant the First: On the 2008 Presidential Election
Okay, describe Obama and McCain in one sentence.
 Future president of space and a Cylon.
Obama is a seedy, corporation fellating dog who pretends to be more liberal than he actually is, and McCain is a racist, senile warmongering bigot.
 Obama is the most liberal senator we have which is quite a feat considering how little time he's spent in office, while McCain is a miserable centrist who cares more about outcomes than principles and philosophy.
Mine was more succinct.
 I think you're not focusing on how much of a racist and sexist bigot McCain is, Vlad. Do you really want somebody who calls his wife a cunt to be our president?
 Don't worry, he's crotchety and old and will be dead soon. I, for one, eagerly welcome our new moose-skinning woman president. Don't you like the idea of a woman president, Ket?
Not if she has a 17 year old pregnant daughter who I am not fucking!
Yes, he's more verile than a five-legged racing dog.
I mean, seriously. The woman doesn't even know what the Bush Doctrine IS. She has no foreign policy experience whatsoever and she's gung ho about killing everything she sees. When we hear about Palin shooting her lawyer in the woods it's not going to be an accident.
Let's not forget its cousin, the Tarkin Doctrine.
Nobody knows what the "Bush Doctrine" is - I thought it was something else than she thought which was something else than the interviewer thought. It's a liberal buzzword. Anyway, the Right Honorable Alcee Hastings said that anyone who's toting guns and skinning moose "don't care about blacks and Jews" and if you ask me that's more than enough to make me like her.
Aren't moose only native to Maine?
No, silly.
Of course not, there are moose in Alaska. Also on the Cylon homeworld.
Moose are vermin in Alaska. They're about as smart as deer but unlike deer if you run into one with your car the moose will probably win. Good for her, I say!
How does shooting moose qualify her to be president?
I dunno, how does inventing the internet qualify you to be president? Lots of excellent presidents we've had have been totally unqualified - Theodore Roosevelt and Dwight Eisenhower come to mind.
Theodore Roosevelt was the most qualified president! He fucked death in the ass and made it his bitch. He is the alpha male.
That's true. Palin can never be an alpha male.
He hunted lion in Africa with a customized Winchester M1895 lever-action rifle in .405 WCF. Called it "lion medicine". Also took 38 pairs of glasses on the off chance he'd break one or ten.
And here I thought Vlad was a misogynist.
What? Oh bullshit. I'm all about egalitarianism! There's nothing quite as nice as a hot woman with a gun. :D
She is NOT hot.
Notice that Vlad made more mention to guns in the last quips than women. That alone says something.
It's more than you've made about women at all.
Besides, Teddy at least hunted game in Africa. That gives him some qualifications of foreign policy experience, he's used to raping others' land in the name of America. Palin has nothing. SHE CAN SEE RUSSIA FROM HER HOUSE VLAD. Don'cha know.
I thought it would be brilliant for McFail to pick her way back in the beginning of summer precisely because it upends things so much. You can't say Republicans are just for old white men now, and in Alaska she's hated by everyone but voters, among whom she has the highest approval rating of any governor. Sounds like a winner to me. Executive experience is also handy - you'd think we know by now that running two sitting senators, especially two sitting senators that ran against each other in the primary, was a shit idea. Joe Biden: I don't think Barack Obama is qualified to be president.
She sucks a mean cock, what can I say.
I'm sure she does, and is that a bad thing, sir?
She can always invite Putin into the oval office and make peace along with news headlines.
Putin has no time off from hunting and not wearing shirts. HE'S THE REAL ALPHA MALE.
How the hell do I end up defending women more than the both of you? Anyway... Putin is the prime minister of Russia, not the president. We all know that position is mostly about making public appearances and being a media spotlight. Silly Ketara.
Maybe in Russia, but some of us can name a few notable prime ministers.
Oh yes. Margaret Thatcher for instance - proof that women can be executives and heads of states just fine. That said, our first woman head of state is going to be a lot better looking. Ho ho.
Yeah but Thatcher was smart and people actually liked her.
Putin still would have fucked her, because he has that right as pack leader.
Palin's likability in the polls goes down by the day.
She's clearly lacking in the cocksucking category.
What polls are you looking at? She's still the most popular governor in the union.
What is this, the Civil War? Are we going to mention the Mason-Dixon line now?
I'm talking as VP candidate. Every time she goes on TV her popularity takes a hit. Because she is REALLY VERY STUPID.
Actually the most recent CBS poll said that 55% of respondents had a more positive view of her, while only 18% had a more negative one. That debate with Joe Biden was hers to lose and she didn't. Of course Biden didn't do anything dumb so you can't really say he lost either. Just trying to be objective here.
I'll admit, the debate was pretty even-keeled. But Biden struck a few homeruns, in my opinion. He was eloquent and didn't refer to us as "joe-somethingorother." My name isn't Joe, Vlad.
Every poll I've looked at said that Biden came out the clear victor, and that includes CBS, CNN, AOL, Yahoo, etc. Every single one.
Yes, and all the polls also showed my hero Ron Paul won every Republican primary debate. That (UNFORTUNATELY) didn't add up to squat.
Ron Paul is a pornstar name.
That's dirty, Cid. You're dirty.
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